In my rumpus room, sandwiched between the filing cabinet and the radiator, is a box of calendars in which I am the Girl-of-the-Month. In fact, I am the Girl-of-EVERY-Month.
Life sometimes surprises the heck out of me.
Here’s what happened. Last March, I suddenly found myself with a lot of free time. So I started making masks to donate out of scraps I had accumulated from being a person who sews sundresses and pillow cases and things, and also from being a person who is abysmal at knowing how much fabric those sundresses and pillow cases and things actually require. Then, because I thought it would be funny, I took a few photographs of myself wearing the masks…with the matching sundresses and pillow cases and things.
I really had so much free time.
I texted the pictures to my family, thinking the trail would likely end there. But my sister also thought they were funny, so she fed me some wine and set me up on Instagram. (This is incidentally also how I ended up on Facebook and OKCupid. Andrea and Wine make a very persuasive team.)
Turned out, a small-but-vocal segment of the internet also thought they were funny, and folks began suggesting there ought to be a calendar. I waffled for a long time, (I am a world-class waffler), but finally decided that if I DID make a calendar, I could maybe sell it to benefit other artists who also suddenly had way too much time on their hands. I dug through my scraps and sundresses and pillowcases and things and decided that I could indeed come up with twelve.
And so, here we are.
Presenting: The Adventures in Hostessville 2021 Matchy Masks Calendar Girl(s)!!!
“Matchy Mask No. 1: I mean, what else do I have to do right now?”
“Matchy Mask No. 2: Isn’t quarantine so relaxing???”
“Matchy Mask No. 3: Is it April or December? I don’t know! WHAT ARE DAYS???”
“Matchy Mask No. 4: Happy Earth Day from me and the only friends I’ve seen in a month.”
“Matchy Mask No. 5: Coronavirus is spoooooooky!”
“Matchy Mask No. 6: The Essence of Elegance…matching your furniture.”
“Matchy Mask No. 7: SIX FEET, BUNNIES!!!!”
“Matchy Mask No. 8: The Lonely Harmonica”
“Matchy Mask No. 9: The Moral Quandary of Cleaning Supplies”
“Matchy Mask No. 10: How is never going anywhere SO EXHAUSTING?”
“Matchy Mask No. 11: Masks are for EVERYONE, Olivia!”
“Matchy Mask No. 12: Remember, as regulations relax, that can is not the same as should.”
There it is! Twelve months of SO MUCH ME. If you were one of those vocal calendar-demanders, your moment has come. Click here for details; fill out the submission form, and I’ll set you up.
But if you’re a super fancy photographer trying to contact me about my Very Likely Next Gig, (modeling for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit/Mask Edition)… you’ll have to contact my agent.
Interested in purchasing an Adventures in Hostessville 2021 Matchy Masks Calendar? Click here for details!